Breastfeeding Aversion, What is Breastfeeding Aversion and What to Do
Hi friends, I have been a little MIA lately with trying to apply for unemployment (I'll update you on that later) and trying to figure out how to night wean (something else I'll have to catch up on) that it has been particularly hard to sit down at the computer and pump out new content. That being said, lately I have been dealing with some pretty strong Breastfeeding Aversion when it comes to evening or nighttime feedings and because it's something I didn't know about or had never heard of until I started experiencing it, I thought I would share my experience for anyone else who is feeling like somethings on in their nursing journey.
What is Breastfeeding Aversion and How Do I Know If I Have It
So since the beginning of my nursing journey I have pretty much exclusively breastfed (aside from the first few weeks where I had to supplement while my supply kicked in) and it has been a beautiful bonding experience. One of the things I had looked forward to most during my pregnancy with my first was being able to nurse her and bond with her in that special way that no one else would. But lately, nursing has been, less than romantic to say the least. Typically, morning and day-time feedings are fine, aside from when things are exceptionally quiet, but when it comes to putting her to bed at night or comforting her to sleep after she wakes up, I go into a rage. Yes, a literal rage. I didn't realize how bad it was until I was so frazzled and overstimulated that I through my phone in frustration. That was so unlike me, and I realized pretty quickly that something wasn't right. It then clicked when I was watching a YouTube video by HeyShayla on night weaning that maybe something was up. I called my lactation consultant and realized I was experiencing the very common phenomenon for pregnant nursing mothers of "breastfeeding aversion."
What is Breastfeeding Aversion
Breastfeeding Aversion is where you (the mom) feel an overwhelming desire to unlatch your baby from your breast as they are nursing. Emotions like frustration, anxiety, overstimulation, rage, or even nausea can accompany the urge to unlatch your baby. Typically the feeling lasts just as long as your baby is latched and immediately releases as soon as your baby is unlatched. Breastfeeding Aversion is typically worse in the evening and at night when the hormone Progesterone is highest (a hormone that suppresses milk supply and is quite high during pregnancy). The urge to unlatch is typically strongest during your letdown when the baby first sucks in order to stimulate a letdown. Occasionally, Breastfeeding Aversion can also accompany a decrease in milk supply due to prolactin which can be suppressed by Progesterone. Breastfeeding Aversion is very common for women who are breastfeeding and are also pregnant since your hormones will prioritize your pregnancy and not your nursing child.
How to Know if I Have Breastfeeding Aversion
- If you feel like your skin is crawling every time (or during specific times of the day) when your baby nurses
- If nursing sessions make you feel nauseous
- If you are experiencing an increase in anxiety, frustration, overstimulation, or rage surrounding nursing sessions that are outside of your normal disposition
- If you feel an overwhelming desire to end your feeding sessions before your baby is finished nursing, or if you feel an overwhelming sensation to unlatch your baby from your breast
- you feel violated or psychically afflicted every time your baby latches on to the nurse
What to Do if I Have Breastfeeding Aversion
If you think you may have Breastfeeding Aversion I encourage you to reach out to a lactation consultant if at all possible. Not only can Breastfeeding Aversion cause major guilt associated with motherhood and breastfeeding, but your hormones are powerful things and sometimes they can make us do things we wouldn't expect. I didn't want to be the type of mom who threw her phone because she was angry, that's not the type of person I want to be, and that's not the type of person I am. But obviously, I needed help outside of myself in order to deal with what I was experiencing. Your lactation consultant may recommend something different for you, but for me, mine recommended trying to transfer nighttime feedings from nursing sessions to bottle feedings. That way our nursing journey can continue throughout the day without the overwhelming sensation in the evening. For me, I find if I am more distracted and not focused on nursing it goes better for me. The times when it is worse are when its incredibly quiet and just me, my baby, and the overwhelming sensation of her nursing. Because of that, my lactation consultant recommended I try and distract myself during that last feed, either by listening to a podcast or music or something. However, some moms find Breastfeeding Aversion the worst when there are a lot of distractions around and when they can't just sit and focus on their baby. And in that case, minimizing your distractions, going into a quiet room, and being able to breathe through the sensations and connect with your baby would be what's best for you. It just depends on your situation. That's why really the only thing I can recommend is going to get help. I still haven't fully found my solution, I'm just sharing where I'm at in the journey. For me, it's still something I am working on and fighting against so I can continue my breastfeeding journey.
Additionally, I recommend taking care of yourself. There is some evidence to show that Breastfeeding Aversion stems from not taking care of yourself (i.e. drinking enough water eating enough food or showering). Sometimes the skin-crawling feeling can stem from being uncomfortable in your own body and needing a bit of a physical break. In that case, I recommend asking a friend or family member for some help so that you can take care of the things you need to take care of for yourself. I know on a normal day (before Breastfeeding Aversion even started for me) if I hadn't gotten in a good shower in a little while nursing just felt gross and sweaty. It's okay to take some time to fix the little things that are maybe making your breastfeeding journey extra difficult.
Conclusion
I don't have a lot of the answers and I don't have the "success" to really give advice on what helped me get through this more challenging phase of my breastfeeding journey. I hope that one day I will be able to do that and share with you what worked for me, but until then, I thought I would simply share where I am at and even what Breastfeeding Aversion even is (because up until recently I didn't even know it was a thing). I don't want you to think my journey is really all that "difficult" or that this is even something to sit and complain about. However, it is a challenge and I know I'm not the only one who struggles with it. Breastfeeding Aversion can maybe be difficult to talk about, especially if you are not encountering pain or nausea because it may make you feel like you are "making a big deal" out of it. I know that's sort of how I felt. And then there is of course the guilt associated with aversion to nursing your baby and the fear of judgment from others. But all that to say, that's why I am sharing. It is something people struggle with and I want you to know you're not the only one. Hopefully, this blog post was encouraging to you and that it inspires you to seek help if you are experiencing some Breastfeeding Aversion. Thank you as always for your time and I hope to catch you again next week!
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