How to Deal with Low Supply and Breastfeeding Affirmations for the Nursing Mother
I recently heard a co-worker say that when her daughter first had her baby she wanted to breastfeed but that she struggled with her milk coming in and low supply. My co-worker said that she told her daughter, "Just feed your baby" and that she should just stop stressing about the whole breastfeeding thing. Although I do think that breastfeeding is best, that doesn't mean it should come in the way of your mental health or the nourishment of your baby, some of the problems by co-worker described for her daughter were actually problems she could have overcome with the right information. A lot of the problems my co-worker's daughter was running into were very similar to the problems I ran into when I was breastfeeding my newborn. Now, I don't want you to confuse what I'm saying and think that because I was able to overcome the hurdles in my breastfeeding journey I was better than her. ABSOLUTELY NOT, I just had resources and lactation consultants and midwives who took the time to work with me, and on top of that, I had a phenomenal husband who did everything he could to make sure I would be able to attain my goal of breastfeeding. Not everyone has that, and I'm not even sure that I would have been able to breastfeed had I not had the support. So then, my point in writing this blog post is not to convince or bash anyone, it's simply to inform and take you on my journey so that hopefully if you find yourself in this same position you can find some help to get over this hurdle in your journey.
Not Enough Milk?
When my baby was first born she immediately latched on during the first hour of skin-to-skin and was instantly the very best little nurser. My initial fear was that there was going to be pain, as I had been told the first two weeks were ROUGH, but to my surprise, I felt absolutely no pain - she was a natural! But the perfection of my journey didn't last long. I went home that same evening (well, really to a hotel, but I was admitted for the night) and I had been told by the midwife, the lactation consultant, and the after-birth notes not to expect my baby to be interested in eating and that I should wake to feed her, but otherwise really just focus on the two of us getting rest. Well, that could have been the very furthest thing from what happened. Because I was stuck in the mentality that babies only ate every two hours (since everyone since my first trimester had been shoving that information down my throat) I didn't nurse more often than that. As soon as we got to the hotel, I nursed her, and then passed her around to my husband and ate some dinner. Twenty minutes later, she was crying again to be fed, but only I had been told there was no absolute possibility that she could be hungry, so rather I tried changing her diaper, putting on an extra layer of clothes, and rocking her back and forth. This only provided temporary soothing and eventually the stream of tears continued. "What could she possibly want?" I asked myself ignorantly. This cycle lasted well into the night, with my eventual "giving in" to feeding her. Only, because she wasn't on the breast the entire time (like she so clearly needed to be) she would fuss, cry, and get agitated after each feed - she wasn't getting full. My husband and I called my mother-in-law because we were out of ideas (she is a bit of a genius when it comes to soothing babies as she had a Colicy baby at one point) but even she could not soothe her. At some point, my husband concluded to just put her skin to skin and nurse her for as long as possible and just keep her on me. We did that and eventually, the whole lot of us passed out. Well, the next day I was slightly the wiser. I fed her every time she cried because I was sure this is what she was after, but she just wasn't getting enough. She would nurse for thirty minutes to an hour straight and still be frustrated after our feeding. I was starting to get really discouraged thinking maybe something else was wrong.
Well, follow up the next day, my birth center scheduled a lactation visit, hearing exam, first baby appointment, etc. 24 hours post birth. At that appointment, I told them of my concern as my screaming child refused to continue feeding. It was then that they asked me how many wet diapers she had had. My mind went blank, I couldn't remember, I hadn't been told to count wet diapers. I told them I think she had one wet one and two poops and they shook their heads. "We like to see at least three wet diapers after 24 hours," they said, and I felt everything collapse around me. They started talking about formula, and before I could say anything my baby was being fed by a syringe formula. Which brand? I don't know. From where? I have no idea. I hadn't even gotten a chance to find my own formula and look up the ingredients and make sure it was all okay before it was going down her throat. I felt miserable. I felt like I had completely failed. I remember at that exact instant I wanted to just burst into tears. I even, if you can believe it, felt jealousy rise up as I watched the lactation consultant soothe my baby to peace and quietness with her formula. And when we got in the car, I cried nearly the entire two-and-a-half-hour drive home. Now, I don't want you to think they were bullying me or anything. The postpartum perspective can be a little skewed, and I had had so much confidence in my ability to breastfeed after the first day that it was earth-shattering. However, these same individuals worked with me to get my supply up while also feeding my baby. They told me how to make sure I was getting stimulated to make more milk while also being very careful that I wasn't supplementing too much. At the end of the appointment, the lactation consultant said, "Breast is best, it'll only be a short time." But it was still very much of a struggle for me. My daughter's latch started to change after being introduced to the syringe and I struggled with pain while breastfeeding and incorrect latch. For a while, it felt like my baby didn't even need me because I was unable to breastfeed her. "Anyone can give her formula," I told myself, and there were several times that I just cried while she was being fed. It was very hard, but in the end, my milk came in abundantly and I was completely able to stop feeding her formula. It took about four days for my milk to come in, and a couple more before I could completely ditch the formula. All in all, it was no more than a week or two, but again that's when most women struggle with their supply. I'm not saying my story is incredibly unique or special, I'm not even saying I had it that difficult, some women tackle way more difficult hurdles than I endured and still make it out on top. I just know what worked for me, and because it was something that affected me so deeply emotionally, I want to share the solutions I was able to use in order to boast my supply and accomplish my deep desire to breastfeed so that hopefully someone who is in my same position who maybe doesn't have all the same resources I had, will be able to overcome this hurdle in their journey.
1. Feed On Both Sides for at Least Fifteen Minutes Each and then After
The very first suggestion I was given by my lactation consultant when she spoke to me about boasting my supply was that she told me whatever I did before I give my baby ANY formula feeding on both sides for at least fifteen minutes on each side. She told me this for two reasons: One it allowed my breasts to get stimulated that my baby needed to eat. Even if I had run out of milk she wanted me to try and keep feeding her because it singled to my body that I needed to be producing more milk for my baby. And two, this allowed my baby to fully drain my breast getting a healthy dose of both fore and hind milk. Hind milk is the milk that is most fatty and will help the baby feel most full and satiated, therefore if my baby doesn't get the hindmilk she will most likely continue to be hungry. So doing this, I made sure to always feed on both sides for fifteen minutes before giving my baby any formula. I would even set a timer, and if my baby was still satisfied on a side past the fifteen-minute timer I continued feeding her until she was ready to move onto the next side. When she was done with both, I would give her formula. My lactation consultant had recommended that I give her no more than one ounce of formula at a time and that if after one ounce she was still hungry, put her back on the breast for as long as she would be happy (both sides) and then try and feeding her one more ounce of formula. My husband and I only had to do this a couple of times, but typically the one ounce was enough to make her feel full. Sometimes even if she was full from the formula I would put her at the breast even just for some comfort sucking to further stimulate the production of milk.
2. Forget the Two Hour Feeding Schedule
The other thing she told me was to feed your baby when she's hungry. She told me some common feeding signs which I have listed below, and she essentially told me to forget to feed my baby every two hours. She said some babies naturally follow a two-hour window of wake eat sleep, but some babies (like mine) will need to eat more often, and if you don't feed her when she signals I will not stimulate the production of milk. My baby probably went an hour at most between feeding but typically she would eat from thirty minutes to an hour at a time (with formula) be happy or nap for thirty minutes and wake up or cry to eat again. I pretty much just stayed in bed for five days sleeping, feeding, and changing her diaper because otherwise, this cycle was almost impossible to maintain. This is really where the support from my family brought me the most benefit which leads into my next point.
Some Hunger Signs for Newborns Include:
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- Rooting (shaking head from side to side as if to latch to the breast)
- Opening and Closing Mouth
- Increased Alert and Fussiness
- Bringing Hands to Mouth
- Lip Smacking
- Balled Fists
- Shakes Fists
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I want to note that these are signs that newborns typically make. They will not necessarily make all or any of them that is why it is important to listen to your baby and understand their needs for yourself. However, a hungry newborn will typically make at least one of these feeding cues when they are hungry.
3. Get Help
Probably the thing that helped me the most with my supply issues was the help I received from my family. My husband was able to take off a week after our baby was born and it is really only because of him I was able to get through it all. He brought me meals, fed the baby her formula while I took a mental break, helped make sure I had everything I needed by my side and encouraged me to rest and drink water as much as possible. My mother-in-law also helped by making meals that would stimulate milk production, gathering milk from some of the women in our church so our baby didn't have to drink formula while I substituted, and also supporting my husband in any way he needed while he took care of me. This is why I say I was lucky and that I couldn't have done it without them. I know not everyone has this sort of situation but I do encourage you to seek help as much as possible during this time. In the United States, our society and culture are just not set up for the stay-at-home breastfeeding mom, or even a working breastfeeding mom! We hardly give women any support, any paid time off (heaven forbid one's spouse takes time off), and virtually no true postpartum care. Women are sent home with sheets of paper, a couple of stitches, and a baby they've never taken care of in their lives before, and expect everything to be okay. Then after six weeks they check you to make sure your doing okay and send you on your way. It is just kind of crazy. And even in my experience where I did have a higher standard of care than one typically receives from a hospital setting, it was still sort of that way. I was told by my midwife that if I had any "sad crying" at all to call them. Well, do you think I called to tell them I "sad cried" all the way home from the birth center because of my milk supply? No! And I didn't call them the following times when I cried for hours while my baby slept either. I didn't want to be prescribed medication, I didn't want to talk to anyone else, and I just didn't feel like it. Unfortunately, I'm sure I'm not the only one out there, so it is important that you have people who can support you and help you out during this time because whether or not you think you need it it will be more beneficial to you and your baby if you do, so just do it.
4. Stay Hydrated and Eat Good Foods
And it if is not already obvious, make sure you are drinking lots of water and eating foods that will help stimulate the production of milk. I ate a lot of oatmeal, because I had read oats were good for supply, but whole grains, almonds, sesame seeds, flaxseed, fennel, dark green vegetables (such as spinach, broccoli, kale, lettuce), lean meat, poultry, and garlic are also supposedly great foods to help boost your supply. A friend of mine made me some oatmeal cookies that had a lot of these elements to help boost my supply. But overall, a balanced diet with help ensure you are getting the proper nutrients you need in order to produce milk for your baby. It may be best to avoid smoking, alcohol, and drugs during this time not only for the safety of your baby but also for your supply.
5. Get Sleep
Also, make sure you are getting adequate sleep. You have heard the old "sleep when the baby sleeps" from your OB or midwife and although that would be best it may not always be possible. Bridget Teyler from Built to Birth said perhaps an easier alternative is calculating how much sleep you get at night, and then determining how many hours of daytime sleep you should get based on that. Now remember, if you are waking up in the night to feed your baby, that is time you are NOT sleeping. So you may go to bed at nine and wake up at nine, but that does not mean you got twelve hours of sleep. In fact, you might have only got seven, if that, so be sure you are being accurate with about how much sleep you are getting. The Nation Sleep Foundation recommends that adults get at least seven hours of sleep each night, although Bridget Teyler recommends mamas get at least nine hours in 24 hours. This means if you are only getting between five and seven hours of sleep each night, be sure to get at least the additional two to four hours in the daytime in order to get at least nine total hours of sleep each day. This makes the whole "sleeping while baby sleeps" a little easier to understand and accomplish.
5. Skin to Skin
Another very important variable to boasting milk supply is taking some time each day to be skin-to-skin with your baby. Having your baby skin to skin with you causes your body to produce the hormone oxytocin which helps stimulate the production of breastmilk. It is also a super handy way to soothe your little one between feedings if they maybe didn't have a nice full feeding. If you are able, I definitely recommend letting your baby be skin-to-skin during feeding sessions and allowing your baby to have some contact naps while doing skin-to-skin. Another great way to do skin-to-skin is to put on a wrap baby carrier without a shirt or bra and allowing your baby to nestle close in with your chest. All of these are great ways to stimulate milk supply. For me, I simply laid in bed with a button-down flannel that easily allowed me to place my baby on my chest. I practiced skin-to-skin as much as possible and let her take as many contact naps on me as time allowed.
Additional Information
Although many women struggle with supply issues, sometimes the issue is that women are just misinformed. In the case of my co-worker and even one of my aunts, their babies weren't lacking in milk, but the mamas thought they were. For example, in both cases the remark "I pumped and only could get one ounce!" was stated even though their babies were feeding and they had no other indication that they weren't getting milk. Bridget Teyler reviews how much a baby should be eating and how often in her Built to Birth Course, however, she also has the video up on YouTube that you can access here. There are a couple of things to note about supply with a newborn. When your baby is first born, its stomach is about the size of a marble and can only hold about 3-5 ml therefore if a mama is truly able to get an ounce of breastmilk during a pumping session that is actually really good. It isn't until about a week that a baby can hold between 40-60ml in its tummy which is approximately 2.5 ounces of milk. Obviously demand varies baby by baby, but that is pretty typical and if your baby is getting between eight and twelve feedings in a 24-hour period, it's likely they are eating enough. Also, something to note is that if mama is pumping between feedings then she may not be getting the same amount of milk that she would get if she pumped during a feeding. It's not wrong to pump between feedings, in fact, it stimulates more milk production, but you shouldn't expect to get full 2-4 ounces of milk when you pump. Additionally, babies drain your breasts way more efficiently than a pump can. In fact, I typically hate pumping because I know I am not getting everything because I can feel the difference after pumping and after my baby eats. My breasts are not drained as much by the pump. So more than likely, if your baby is happy, they are producing lots of wet and dirty diapers, they aren't losing weight, and they are alert and pleasant, then they are just fine, getting everything they need from you mama. Don't worry about how much milk you are pumping, just focus on the cues your baby is communicating to you. They will let you know their needs, just trust your instinct. You've got this!
Breastfeeding Affirmations
1. I Am the Safe Space for My Baby
Even if you may not be the only method of nutrients for your baby, YOU are your baby's safe space. Your baby spent nine long months in your womb, close to you, hearing your breathing and heartbeat. Even if your baby is only getting half, maybe less of what they need from your breasts, they are getting infinitely more than the milk you are giving them. You are providing them with comfort, warmth, stability, and love. Your baby is nestled in your arms close to you and close to what they know. Your breast are their comfort and help your baby adjust to this world. Although you may be lacking in milk, your breasts smell like the amniotic fluid in the womb meaning your baby feels safest and closest at home with you. No one else has your ability to nurse the baby you held inside your womb which means no one has a safe space like you do mama.
2. My Baby and I are Connecting in a Sweet and Natural Way
Your baby's natural instinct is to breastfeed but beyond that, it is a truly magical way to bond with your baby. Relax and forget about ounces and milliliters. Your baby will get as much milk from your breast as they need and supplementing is only supplementing food. You are providing them with more than food and nutrients, you are providing them with a deeply meaningful and natural connection that will be long-lasting. Don't worry about how much they are getting, instead focus on the time they are spending at your breast nursing as time spent in deep connection and bonding with you mama.
3. Breastfeeding is Natural
For thousands of years, women breastfed their babies. Breastfeeding is natural and instinctual. Sometimes society and assistive devices can make breastfeeding feel like an unnatural task that women try to do in order to connect with their babies. This isn't true. You and your baby are built with strong instincts that help you breastfeed together. This doesn't mean bumps are unnatural, it just means that the process is natural and that you and your baby will navigate this together, riding in the hermitage of the millions of women before you.
4. My Baby is All I Need for My Milk to Let Down
Your baby communicating with your instincts will stimulate your milk to let down. There is nothing you need to do mama, your baby is doing his or her part in stimulating your natural maternal instincts. Relax, gaze into the perfect face of your newborn, and realize that together you are working to make this journey as meaningful, natural, and connective as possible.
5. Your Milk is the Perfect Food for Your Baby
Your milk was designed for your baby, therefore it is the perfect nuriousment for your little one. Formula may satiate your baby, but your breasts are filled with antibiotics, nutrients, and food specifically for your little one that is perfect for them. No one else can feed your baby your milk alive and fresh as it is when you nurse. Your baby is getting the very most when they nurse and you are their sustenance. Your milk is perfect mama.
6. My Baby Loves to be Near Me and I Love to Be Near Them
Breastfeeding connects you and your baby, and your little one soaks up every minute they have with you. Your warmth, connection, and sweetness are all they want and need. You are their comfort and your baby wants to be near you, not dad, not grandma, you mama. You are what your baby longs to be near, and in turn, you long to be near your baby. Nursing is a beautiful way to connect and be near to your sweet baby in a way no one else can be. Other people may hold her or kiss her or even feed her with formula, but no one can provide the nearness and connection that you provide when you nurse your baby.
7. I Will Never Have the Same Nursing Moment Twice
Your baby is ever-changing and so are you, mama. Each nursing session offers a different experience for warmth and connection. Your baby receives love, nourishment, and affection each time they feed from you. As your baby grows, nursing may look different, but it is always a meaningful unique experience for you and your baby. Like no two dates are the same, or conversations with your mother, in the same way, no two nursing sessions are the same. Each one is uniquely special and worth cherishing for you and your baby.
Resources
If you are struggling with low supply, I encourage you to seek resources so that you can overcome this hurdle in your breastfeeding journey and enjoy the experience of breastfeeding to its fullest. Below are some of the resources I used along with some additional ones for you to try out. This time is a season of difficulty but it will pass Mama. You've got this!
- Built to Birth YouTube Breastfeeding Playlist
- La Leche League
- Kelly Mom
- The Lactation Network
- United States Lactation Consultant Association Find a Lactation Consultant
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