What I'm Doing Differently with Baby #2 (and What I'll Do Again!)
While I plan for baby number two there are some things I plan on doing differently with my second that I didn't do with my first, or that I wish I had one differently. As parents we do the best we can with the knowledge we have, but I'm super excited to try some things differently with our second baby. On that note, there are some things I definitely am thankful I did with our first and will definitely be doing again!
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What I'm Doing Differently
1. Breastfeeding on Demand Right From Birth
So most of you who have been following my journey know that this is a big regret I have with baby number one. When I first had my baby, I was so concerned about responding to feeding only when she was hungry and trying to do the whole two-hour eat, sleep, and wake cycle. But as you know, or maybe you're new here, that caused a lot of hiccups in my breastfeeding journey including needing to supplement with formula, low supply, and overall lack of confidence. So, with baby number 2, I plan on breastfeeding on demand right from the start. I really want to establish a good supply right from the get-go and make sure my milk doesn't take four days to come in! Yes, four days with number one. Hopefully, I shouldn't run into any problems with milk supply considering that I will be nursing baby number one right up until the other one is born (and frankly, probably afterward as well), but I want to take every precaution to avoid the complications I ran into with breastfeeding with number one.
2. Take a Prenatal
So with baby number one, I did not take a prenatal, and I'll explain why. It's not that I think I did something wrong last time, I just want to do it differently this time. With baby number one I took separate vitamins that are typically in prenatal instead of a prenatal. So for example, I took folate separately, vitamin D separately, Omega 3, Vitamin b12, Vitamin C, Vitamin K, Collagen, Magnesium, Zinc, and Calcium. I did this because taking them separately like this actually allowed me to get a larger dose of each, which I needed, and I was able to take things like Vitamin D and Vitamin b12 separately which helps with their absorption. Also, throughout my pregnancy I never needed iron. This isn't the case for most people, but for me, my natural diet is high enough in iron that if I took an iron supplement it would be too much for my body, and because most prenatals have iron, this was something I wanted to avoid. Now, I would do this again, however, the price point for this can get pretty expensive, especially if you are buying good pure vitamins. On the plus side, however, you are getting larger doses which means you don't have to take it as often. Now the other reason I switched to a prenatal for this baby is that I really wanted to have to take fewer pills throughout the day, however, I'm actually pretty disappointed in the results. So let me back up real quick. Regardless if I take a prenatal or not, my provider wants to be getting 5000 IU of Vitamin D EACH day. Now my body can handle it pretty well and I am almost always low in vitamin D so this is a must. So in addition to the prenatal, I still have to take vitamin D. The other thing is since I'm pregnant and breastfeeding I also have to continue taking Omega 3. Besides this, a single dose of prenatal vitamins is EIGHT pills, so much for cutting down on the vitamin intake. Also nearly no prenatal has collagen (which I absolutely need during pregnancy) and so I still have to take that separately. I might switch back to my normal vitamins mid-pregnancy, but for now, I'm taking the Fullwell prenatal. It utilized folate instead of folic acid (which is what my provider said I needed to be consuming) and does not have iron. In addition, it has some other vitamins and minerals I wasn't taking, so I may continue taking it and incorporate some of my old vitamins later on. In the meantime, I've decided to take liquid vitamin D (for my stomach) and continue taking fish oil for the Omega 3. That way I only have to take one extra tablet of the collagen and it's not as hard on my body.
3. Dress and Swaddle in Wool
This one is something I still regret not doing with baby number one. So wool is an excellent insulator and regulator for newborn babies. Not only that, but it's natural, breathable, and has a high frequency (see blog post on natural fabrics). Essentially, it's just perfect for babies. With baby number one, I didn't get my hand on any woolies (baby wool clothing) until she was about four months old. I was concerned about making sure she was dressed in natural fabrics so she almost always wore cotton, but beyond that, I just didn't have the resources to get her wool at the time. Now, with more foresight and knowledge, I have been able to invest in some wool yarn which I have already made some baby woolies as well as baby number one some things, and I (hopefully) will be able to get a blanket made up for baby number two with some merino wool I purchased. If you're curious about where I get most of my wool, I purchased most of my yarn at Hobby Lobby, but I also buy a lot of things second-hand from eBay. I'm still looking for a good wool company on Amazon, but so far the wool I've purchased isn't my favorite and I don't feel like I can recommend it so I won't. Once I find some, I'll let you know though.
4. Actually Buy Postpartum Products
If you can believe it, with baby number one I bought close to ZERO postpartum products. I had a lot in the cart but I honestly just wasn't sure what I'd use and how it would all work and so at the end of the day I never ordered anything because we were low on money for renovations and I just didn't want to spend it on something I didn't think I'd need. This was a HUGE mistake. Now, if you're birthing at a hospital, it's not as big of a deal because they send you home with a sort of "care packet" most of the time, but with my birth center, they only provided me with items while I was there. Fortunately enough, a woman who had birthed through the birth center had donated some postpartum products for any mother who found herself in need and I was gifted that sweet basket and it was a LIFESAVER since I really was clueless about what to do. So for this pregnancy, I am NOT going to make that mistake again. And if you're wondering what things are on my registry for this time around, I've listed them below so you can get an idea about what to put on your list for your postpartum period. As a quick side note however, I still have reusable hot and warm postpartum pads from my last pregnancy, a peri bottle, and a spritz bath, otherwise, they would also be on the list.
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- Rael Disposable Underwear for Women; buy here
- The Honey Pot Postpartum Pads: Buy Here
- Frida Mom Ice Pads; Buy Here (these were a lifesaver for my tear)
- Frida Mom Witch Hazel Liners; Buy Here (another major must for relief)
- Goodonya Electrolyte Powder; Buy Here
- Dermoblast; Buy Here (trying to find an alternative though)
5. Babywear from Day One
Although I did babywear early on, my first baby was almost out of the newborn stage by the time I started babywearing. However, once I started, I wished that I had started sooner (it wasn't a matter of not wanting to, I didn't have a stretchy wrap at the time). Now that I know how much easier everything is when I babywear, I definitely want to start baby-wearing from the start to make things easier on myself. And just some other reasons as well, it's incredibly easy to practice skin-to-skin while the baby wearing in a stretchy wrap, it promotes breastfeeding, and it promotes bonding. For all those reasons I plan on bringing out my stretchy wraps from day one with baby number two.
6. Elimination Communication from the Start
Now I knew about Elimination Communication with my first baby well before she was even born, but I decided I wasn't going to try anything like that until she could sit up. At the time I just couldn't fathom how one would hold a newborn to help them eliminate, and it just seemed like a lot of work. Now that I've done elimination communication and seen how much easier it is, I will definitely be doing this from the start. Not only will it help cut down on all those poopy diapers I have to wash, but the EC position helps baby completely empty their bowls so I won't have to deal with back-to-back poos like I did with my first. I probably won't be incredibly strict about it and really just focus on the poops, but I definitely plan on using EC next time instead of waiting.
7. Utilize a Changing Table
This is something I've already started using with my first, but for anyone who is planning for a baby plan on getting a changing table from the start. This would have 100% saved my back from so much pain and it would have consolidated any "accidents" to the changing table area and not a bed, dresser, or even the floor. So definitely using a changing table with baby number two this time.
8. Cloth Diaper with Wool
I've explained in previous blog posts why I delayed trying wool cloth diapering, but now that I understand that diapering with wool is literally SO easy (see my blog post on wool care here) I will definitely be cloth diapering with wool for baby number two. I've already made some purchases of wool cloth diaper covers for newborns on eBay. I'm definitely excited to let you all know what I think about wool cloth diapering for a newborn, so I'll keep you updated!
9. Nap Schedule Starting at 1 Month
So after I started work, about a month into work I realized that I really needed a nap schedule. Mostly, so that my baby would not get over tired (which is what was happening). However, now that I have a better understanding of sleep cycles, wake windows, and signs of tiredness, I definitely want to try and incorporate a nap schedule earlier rather than later. The reason being is that with my first, I felt like every moment my goal was to get her to fall asleep. And after a while of doing that, I started to doubt whether she was sleeping too much during the day or too little. I also felt like I was being a bad parent just trying to get her to sleep all the time and felt like I was trying to be able to put her aside. Ahh, postpartum hormones. But it would have been beneficial for me to have at least understood wake windows and see that during the early stages babies due sleep a lot and that it's a good thing. So this one is more for my sanity more than anything, but I am definitely going to try to have a loose schedule so that I keep my baby from getting overtired and so I can enjoy the wake windows they do have and not try and get them back to sleep.
What I'll Do Again!
1. Breastfeed
Probably an obvious repeat, but I plan on breastfeeding baby number two. I absolutely loved my breastfeeding experience with my first (and still do) and I plan on continuing with baby number two. At my birth center, I have access to their lactation consultants on staff, who work with new parents on perfecting the baby's latch, feeding, and attachment. I used them quite a bit in the first few weeks of my first baby's life, and I know they will be there for me if I have any trouble with baby number two.
2. Wait to Introduce the Pacifier
For my first, my midwife advised me not to introduce the pacifier until at least two weeks old. However, I felt a little bit pressured by family and by the concept of not letting my baby breastfeed to sleep to introduce it much earlier than that. What ended up happening was absolute pacifier refusal. She absolutely melted anytime the pacifier was given to her and if I was making any progress on getting her to go to sleep on her own, if I gave her the pacifier I almost always went backward. There were times when she took it, but most of the time it ended up being more headache than it was worth. So, after a few weeks of trying that, I said screw it, threw all the pacifiers away and just nursed her. Once she hit four months old, I noticed she developed an interest in sucking objects and her fingers for comfort. It then hit me to try the pacifier again, and I invested in some all-natural rubber pacifiers. Then I introduced them very casually almost as if it was a toy. This absolutely worked! She immediately took to the pacifier and now she uses it for naptime and nighttime sucking and because it was also a toy for her, she also plays with it throughout the day. This was definitely a win-win for me and I think it was probably the best way I could have done things for her. For baby number two, I plan on waiting to introduce the pacifier until I see signs of hand sucking and interest in putting objects in their mouth. I think this will eliminate the headache of forcing the pacifier and also help me really establish breastfeeding during the first weeks and months. Also, as a side note, I waited too long with my first to introduce the bottle, so she refused to take it. However, I reintroduced it during the time I introduced the pacifier and it was a success! So potentially this is also a good time to introduce the bottle if you haven't already.
3. Co-sleep Until Four Months
With baby number one I hadn't planned on co-sleeping, but circumstances sort of led us there, and at four months, we did a non-cry-it-out method of sleep training (see my blog post here) and she transitioned to her room. This definitely worked for our family. First, it really let me get the sleep I needed during the newborn stage since I was basically able to nurse my first while I continued sleeping. And secondly, I think it was a super sweet way to bond and connect with my baby in a way I otherwise wouldn't have done. Once four months hit, babies start to develop their circadian rhythms and make sleep associations. At that point, we were sure to make her associations with her room and her bed, while still being there for her at every step. This ended up really working for us and I'm super glad we did it this way. I definitely plan on doing things the same with baby number two.
4. Montessori Floor Bed (Ditch the Traditional Crib)
So when we had our first, we actually had two traditional cribs, however, because we were co-sleeping we hadn't pulled them out. So when we started to transfer our little one to her own room I realized that it would be really hard for me to lay beside her in a traditional crib if she needed me to. So, we had a toddle bed with rails and I thought that would be a good solution, but the bed we had been given was broken and ended up not working, so instead while my husband decided he would build her one, we set her mattress on the floor and just worked with that. I instantly realized how easy this was. I had heard about Montessori floor beds (my husband prefers floor beds himself actually) and so I started looking into them. We decided then to make her toddler bed ground level with railings to keep her safe. She is not at the stage where she can do anything but roll around in her bed, so I have not yet "baby-proofed" her room to make it Montessori-safe, but she's still got a little while to go before then. I definitely like the concept though, and I think it will be really easy on me when I have baby number two. Right now, as it is, when our little one wakes up, she rolls over to her toys and plays quietly alone until she's bored. I definitely think once she can move, she will remain entertained for even longer periods. Since this is working so well for us for our first, whenever it comes time to transition baby number two to their own bed, I definitely think we will continue with the Montessori floor bed for them as well.
4. Birth Center Birth
For my first, my husband and I opted for a birth center birth as opposed to a hospital birth. We considered a home birth, but due to the lack of providers in the area who offer home births and the potential for complications, we decided a birth center would probably be our best bet. And although I would absolutely love to do a home birth at some point, right now my husband and I felt best using the birth center for our second birth. I was a little disappointed at first, but not because I had a negative experience with my first birth. In fact, it was so sweet and so wonderful and everyone there was incredibly supportive and kind. However, I really wanted to try a homebirth and be able to not worry about traveling home afterward. But, it is for the best. Our first will barely be one by the time we're having baby number two and I know it is what's safest for right now. Besides, it is really nice to have the same faces help me with my second pregnancy as the first.
5. Cloth Diaper from the Start
Probably another obvious one is cloth diapering. We saved so much money on cloth diapering and buying cloth diapers second hand and so many of our diapers haven't stained and are in practically new condition, so we definitely plan on using them again. Besides, with baby number two, our washer and dryer should be up and running, and there isn't the additional stress of having to figure something new out. So definitely continue cloth diapering with baby number two.
6. Take Pregnancy Photos
I hadn't necessarily planned on doing a pregnancy photoshoot with my first, but my friend who is a photographer offered to do one for me. Her pictures were amazing! You can follow her on Instagram here to see some of the personal pictures she takes for her own enjoyment. I fell in love with them, and now I love looking back on them! She has moved several states away so I doubt we will be able to do a photo shoot for this next pregnancy, but now that I know how thankful I am for those photos with my first pregnancy, I definitely plan on investing in some for this next pregnancy!
7. Take Vitamin D
As I explained above, with my first pregnancy my provider had me take 5,000 IU per day of Vitamin D. Because of my vitamin D deficiency, she is having me do the same thing for baby number two. Vitamin D is essential and it doesn't bother me to take it.
8. Use Vitamin E Oil to Avoid Stretch Marks
Something I was super worried about with baby number one was stretch marks. I took collagen every day, which likely helped, but I also applied Vitamin E Oil to my belly. Supposedly everyone claims that you can't actually avoid stretch marks, however, you can help your skin elasticity (with collagen) and you can keep your skin moisturized which will help it maintain its health while your belly is being stretched. So whether or not it worked, I had no stretch marks whatsoever and DID end up getting them around my breasts where I didn't apply Vitamin E Oil (sorry for the TMI). So, whether or not it worked, I plan on using it again just in case.
9. Drink Raspberry Leaf Tea
Raspberry Leaf Tea is supposed to prime your cervix for giving birth, and something my provider did state when I was having some delays in kickstarting labor is that my cervix was very soft and effaced. I'm not sure if the raspberry leaf tea helped, but supposedly it does, so I will be drinking it again for this pregnancy and hope to have the same outcome.
10. Eat Dates
Similarly to the raspberry leaf tea, eating at least seven dates a day helps soften the cervix for birth. Now I hate dates so I literally counted out seven every day and forced myself to eat them. However, I plan on doing this again for baby number two. I didn't start this until the third trimester when it is recommended, so I won't be doing it throughout my pregnancy as I will with the Raspberry Leaf tea, but I will be taking dates every day towards the end of my pregnancy to prepare for labor.
11. Take the Built to Birth Labor and Postpartum Course
And lastly, the other thing I plan on doing again with baby number two, is taking Bridget Teylor's Built to Birth Delivery and Postpartum course. When you purchase here course, you have a lifetime access, even if more curriculum or videos are added to the course. Because I purchased this for my first baby, I definitely think it will be beneficial to take the course again for my second baby to help prepare myself for labor.
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